Let’s all start on the same page, shall we?

Once upon a time I was told that I should blog about writing, what with me being a writer and all. To that I responded, “Not happening.” Why? Because I am not qualified to advise anyone on the subject of writing. Truth be told, in my opinion at least, nobody is. Sure, you can be taught the mechanics of grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure, but nobody can teach you to write – even if they tell you they can.

Of course, that’s just MY opinion, and that’s where we need to be on the same page, so to speak.

I’m giving in. Yes, I am going to write about writing, but not exactly like one would think. I have no intention of trying to teach or advise anyone on the subject. It would be ludicrous for me to do something I think is ludicrous for other people to do. So, no, I won’t be trying to school anyone on the subject of writing. I might throw a few “tips” out there, those being much like the random offerings in the Bacon Header above – tongue in cheek. If they aren’t tongue in cheek then they are going to be common sense and you probably should have learned them by the fifth grade. If you haven’t yet, then no amount of me telling them to you is going to make any real difference.

In effect, that means they are just a reminder, for all of us. Either that or I just couldn’t think of anything else to say and I am trying to prove to you that I still have a few smarticles left in my head.

And so… Everything I blog about here is going to be my experiences interwoven with my personal opinion on the subject at hand. What this means, in a nutshell, is that I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if you agree with me, disagree with me, implement my tips, borrow a page from my playbook, ignore me, laugh along with me, or otherwise prattle on endlessly about what a strange person I am. But you’d best not step on my wife’s shoes – blue suede, black patent, or anything in between. I’m here to tell you that’s simply a bad idea and even I don’t know where she buries the bodies after she is finished desecrating them.

Consider yourself forewarned.

And so… You may – or may not – be wondering why this blog is called “Literary Bacon.” Well, that’s simple enough – Stephen King once called himself the literary equivalent of “A Burger and Fries.” He might have actually said Big Mac, not sure. However, I’m not going to look up the quote because this isn’t about him. It’s about me. Sort of…

At any rate, I’ve decided that I would like to be the literary equivalent of Bacon. Why? Because bacon is the candy of all meats. Be it beef bacon, turkey bacon, vegetarian bacon, or the almighty pork belly - bacon is the thing. Why else would there be expressions like, “Bringing home the bacon,” and “Dammit, that’s MY bacon!”

Okay… So that last one was mine, but you have to admit we’ve all probably said it at one time or another.

The thing is, I’ve been writing for more than 30 years, and I have been published for just as long in one form or another. And for the last 15, my novels have been seeing publication.

But, speaking of publishing… As trends in publishing – and marketing – have shifted, so have book sales and even other innocuous things, such as the very definition of “writer.” Some writers out there have found what seems to be a magic formula to bump up sales and keep a decent paycheck rolling in. Some of them are even raking in a good amount of cash self-publishing – J. A. Konrath, anyone? Well, good on him and them. I think that’s great, and I’m all about it.

However, others of us are still working on upping our numbers – either into a respectable range, or even back into a respectable range where they once were prior to all of these bizarre tremors in the industry.

I’m not complaining, mind you. NOT at all… I’m simply offering up the facts.

And so… This blog is about that odyssey. My odyssey, actually. This is where I will yammer about different things I am doing to market my novels, where I will talk about writing, and where I will bend ears about my new projects. Furthermore, it will be a lab where I will work on and tinker with ideas that will hopefully allow me to bring home a thicker slice of the proverbial bacon.

After all, I have to keep my wife rolling in new shoes, now don’t I…

MRS