With apologies to The New Zoo Revue…
If you have ever purchased anything from Amazon – as in Amazon DOT Caaaaaahhhhhhmmmmm, not the Amazon rain forest – you know just how relentless they can be. And by relentless I mean you buy something and thirty-two point seven seconds later you get an email wanting you to review the product that hasn’t even been shipped yet. These of course are followed by reminder emails at all manner of odd intervals, each sporting a subject line like, “Hi Murv, how do you like your new thermonuclear coffee bean pulverizer,” or “Don’t forget to review your recent purchase of black lace hamster lingerie,” or “Murv, did you forget to review your new left handed spatula?”
Well, believe it or not, I am not exempt from these emails (Hence the hamster lingerie reminder) and in keeping with their insidious campaign to elicit commentary, our friends at Amazon have been dunning me recently for a review of an item. As a general rule I just ignore such things until they go away – which they eventually do. Especially since being a writer I don’t think very highly of Amazon reviews anyway. However, Jeff and the gang just happened to catch me being bored while still nursing my recent DIY plastic surgery attempt (see previous blog entry) because apparently the damage turned out to be not just the gash that needed stitches, but also a possible tear in some Latin medical termed portion of my leg. The latter unpronounceable injury will take a bit more time to heal than just the visit with the urgent care Saturday Sewing Circle meeting.
But, I digress…
As I said, Jeff and the gang caught me in a state of boredom, and what with being a writer by trade I did just what they asked. I wrote them a review. Product and review pasted below:
In case you are having trouble with the pictures, here is the text of the review:
SEDUCE-420V (8220) 5″ Classic Pump, White Patent
Amazon asked me to write a review of these pumps, so, here I am…writing a review.
Mostly they wanted to know about the sizing, so I went to the closet, dug them out, and tried them on. Well, I tried to try them on. As noted, they are far too small for me since I wear a size 9.5W men’s and the pair that arrived from Amazon are size 7 women’s. That said, I’m pretty sure I would probably look adorable in them, but I’d need to shave my legs first. Also, I’m not really sure they’d go with my kilt. Black yes, white, not so much, so I would either need to order another kilt or rifle through my wife’s closet and borrow one of her skirts. Unfortunately, I suspect I would run into the same sizing issue as she is rather petite.
Speaking of my wife, she looks absolutely amazing in these shoes. She looks absolutely amazing anyway, but she definitely works the shoes, too. However, given that she is very modest I suspect you were spot on asking me to review them instead of her.
I hope this helps.