But… But… You’re Supposed To Think Like ME!

There’s an old saying – If you like sausage, you do NOT want to see how it is made.

The same goes for people. Not necessarily how they are made, because that would just be porn. I mean who people are, but more specifically, who certain people are. Allow me to explain.

I’m not exactly a celebrity, but I’m not exactly unknown, either. That’s all due to this bizarre mistake I made wherein I started writing novels and allowing them to be published with my name on the front. That, of course, created a small amount of notoriety, which begat book tours, which begat more notoriety, and… well… you get the picture. Still, I’m not really a celebrity. I guess it’s sort of like Miracle Max said in The Princess Bride – I’m only mostly a celebrity.

And so, on to the point. Remember that bit about sausage? Yeah, that was sort of the point, but it translates as such – If you happen to like my books and like M. R. Sellars (Yes, I know, M. R. Sellars is me, but not really me. I’ll get to that in a second) you don’t necessarily want to hang out with Murv. Now that’s not to say that some of you might, but a lot of you… well… I suspect you might want to rethink that.

You see, I am actually a flaming gorram introvert. On top of that, I’m an opinionated curmudgeon. On top of THAT, I get realllllly fucking pissy when people runway walk their cranio-rectal inversions in front of me. Sure, we all have lapses of judgement, but chronic, willful stupidity annoys me. A lot. But not quite as much as when you combine chronic, willful stupidity with hypocrisy. That shit right there… whooboy! Man… That just forces me into a meltdown.

But I digress…

Basically, what I am saying here is that the M. R. Sellars you see at a book signing or a festival is only partly Murv. He’s the jovial, extroverted person I have to pretend to be in public. Yeah. That’s right. Pretend. He’s a public persona. I also have a private persona, and he is the one who is on my Facebook profile. He has opinions, he doesn’t put up with stupid, and he will call you out if you prance around with your head up your ass.

M. R. Sellars doesn’t do that.

Murv Sellars does.

M. R. Sellars is the sausage.

Murv Sellars is how sausage is made.

For some reason I get a ton of people wanting to be Murv’s friend on Facebook, all while there is a perfectly good M. R. Sellars fan page there for them to interact with. Every now and then I have one of my own lapses of judgement and I let in people who don’t actually know Murv. They just know M. R. Sellars. I say lapse of judgement because it doesn’t take long for the vast majority of folks to end up being offended, pissed, or just downright appalled that I am not my public persona, and that *GaSp* I have opinions and ideas that don’t fall in line with theirs.

So, the long and short – Have the sausage. Enjoy the sausage. Ignore the man behind the curtain who is making the sausage. You don’t wanna know…

More to come…

MR

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