Posts tagged: e k

Feb 05 2011

In The News…

Recently, Her Supreme Evilness, none other than THE E K, tangled with an iceberg that came flying off a flatbed tow truck in front of her while she was motivating the Evil Mobile along the highway. Said iceberg, not knowing with whom it had elected to tussle, was woefully unprepared. While it managed to get in an initial shot, the redhead sallied forth. Because of her amazing display of dominance over flying frozen water, the local news decided to interview her.

HER SUPREME EVILNESS ON THE TOOB

This just goes to show you what I’ve been saying all along – Had E K been on board the Titanic, the damn ship wouldn’t have had the balls to sink.

Personally, I think the Missouri Highway Patrol should give her a “BadAss Beyotch Driving Award” or something. But instead, courtesy of a rather well-known local towing company who couldn’t be bothered to clean off their trucks, we will be going car shopping…

More to come…

Murv

»crosslinked«

Jan 12 2011

Do I Want To Know?

It was a day like any other day…

Well, that’s not actually true. It was a day like any other day in the first half of January, when just enough snow fell overnight – and was still falling that morning – that the schools canceled classes and left parents of Elementary school kids scrambling to make arrangements. Of course, what with me working from home – I mean, after all, you can write a book pretty much anywhere if you try, so why not at home… But anyway, what with me working from home there wasn’t as much scrambling as there was re-planning.

You see, I can’t work when I have people in my house.

This is not to say that I don’t love having E K and the O-spring at home. I do. Problem is, they are a distraction, even when they are trying very hard not to be. Either they end up making some sort of oddly repetitious noise that is at just the right frequency for me to be able to hear, or I just can’t concentrate because I’d rather be doing something with them than working.

The long and short of it being, on snow days I don’t get any writing done. I find other work to do. Used to be I’d play scrabble, monopoly, or something else with the O-spring. But these days she’s in that zone where dad is only cool if he has something she wants… you know… like money, or an orange that’s already been peeled and sectioned.

Therefore, on this particular day I parked myself in my office to do other work that comes along with the whole author gig. Answering interview questions, doing research, reminding myself to pay my HWA dues then getting sidetracked and forgetting. That reminds me, I need to do that…

Everything seemed to be plugging along okay. O-spring with her nose buried in her new Nook. O-spring singing. O-spring going all Rembrandt on some paper with her oil pastels. And me, sitting in my office, working and forgetting to do things I need to do.

Then I heard it.

“Heard what?” you ask.

The thing that strikes fear into the hearts of parents everywhere.

“Dad?” came the voice from the next room.

“Whatcha’ need, kiddo?” I asked.

“Ummm… Do we have any ‘Duck’ Tape?”

<silence> <blink> <silence>

Finally I asked, “What did you break?”

<silence>

Eventually the answer came. “Umm… Nothing…”

Snow days. Apparently it isn’t just shoveling the white stuff that’s hazardous to your heart.

More to come…

Murv

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DISCLAIMER: Do not use in shower, some settling may occur, for internal use only, okay to take with alcohol, keep away from children

CAUTION: Contents may be hot • DO NOT tease the E K, she will hurt you • Read more books, watch less TV • Soylent Green is people!
Do not stare directly into the sun • May the cube be with you • Point blog AWAY from face when opening due to escaping sarcasm
REALLY, DO NOT tease the E K, she's EVIL... Srsly... I once saw her knock down Santa Claus and stomp on his head repeatedly while threatening
him with an ax, all because he didn't bring her what she wanted for Christmas. I'm not kidding. There are pictures: E K Torturing Santa

I ♥ BACON!

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