Po’ Key Man A Go Go: Electric Boogaloo…

Okay… The Electric Boogaloo in the title is for my friend and fellow author, Alex Bledsoe… Mostly because it’s hard to fit biscuits and gravy into a blog title about a game app. Don’t worry. He’ll get the joke even if you don’t…

Now, that said, this blog entry isn’t about Alex, nor is it about biscuits, gravy, or electric boogaloos. I just couldn’t pass up a chance at the shout out.

So what is this blog entry about? Well, it’s about elitism, manners, and unfounded anger.

hqdefaultUnless you have been hiding under a rock for the past month, I am sure you are well aware of the phenomenon that is Pokemon Go. Suffice it to say, it is a game app for your mobile phone, based on the old Pokemon cards/cartoon, whereby you catch Pokemon, gain experience, battle other Pokemon, etc. The truth is, it is a brilliant little game – although it IS a battery sucker. In order to hunt down Pokemon, catch them, AND replenish your supply of Poke Balls, hatch Poke Eggs, etc, you have to get out and about. In fact, you actually have to do quite a bit of walking. In short, this app has done more to get nerds off the couch and out into the fresh air getting exercise than anything I’ve ever seen. Hell, it even gets the Teen of Doom out away from her guitars for a while every day. In my book that’s a big win.

So, where do elitism, manners, and unfounded anger come in?

Well, my wife and I play Pokemon Go, too. Yes, we are in our 50’s, but we play this silly little game as well. It started as an interaction with our teen daughter. She was into it, so we decided we would join her since she’s not all about board games anymore (she was when she was younger, but things change, as we all well know.) It is something that allowed us to have a family activity that we all enjoy. We go for walks, we go to parks where there are Poke Stops and lures, etc. We are getting exercise, getting excited about the same thing, and doing a lot of talking – like I said, big win. BUT… (you saw that coming, right?) my wife and I are in our 50’s and we are playing Pokemon Go.

We have faced criticism from many sides – extended family, Facebook friends, and random strangers. We’ve been laughed at and even had a guy get all pissy with us when he found out we played – and when I say pissy I mean he started shaking his head, rolling his eyes, gesticulating, and raising his voice as he said, “Oh come on, at your age? What’s wrong with you?”

You know who HASN’T been an asshole to us? Teens and twenty-somethings. Yeah. Kids, and not just our own. Random teens we run into at parks get all excited when they see a couple of “elderly folks” playing this game and having a good time. It’s a common ground, and kids out there – and their parents who are engaged in this – are connecting.

pokemongo0324-610My biggest question in all of this is: When did it become okay for someone to openly criticize me for doing something that has absolutely no effect on them whatsoever? I mean, if I was on your lawn, maybe, but when I am in the park, walking the dog, minding my own business with my family, how did it become your right to get up in my face and tell me there’s something wrong with me because I’m enjoying a silly little game on my phone while getting some exercise? When did it become okay for someone to sneer at me because I engage in a fun, family game?

Basically, when did it become okay for people to not mind their own fucking business?

I guess it’s an epidemic… Drumpf brought the racists and misogynists into the light. Pokemon Go has brought all the nosy Gladys Kravitzes into the light. (If you don’t know who Gladys Kravitz is, use Google. It’s your friend.)

At any rate, get over yourselves. I’m sorry your life is so boring, but that doesn’t give you a right to take it out on me.

More to come…



Awww, Dad!

I make no apologies. I’m an overprotective dad. I mean, just look at what I write for a living. Because of the research I do in order to write those books, I know crap that you should be freakin’ ecstatic that you don’t know. I’m dead serious. Some of the sh*t I’ve learned about sociopaths wakes me up in the middle of the night, drenched in a cold sweat and reaching for the Glock in the nightstand.

THAT’S why I’m an overprotective dad…

Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not a bit silly too. After all, it’s a moral imperative. Dads are supposed to embarrass their kids. It’s an inalienable right. It’s handed out to you the minute you become a father. Trust me. It’s in the paperwork. No kidding.

And so it came to pass that coldness crept into our city as winter descended upon us. And with said cold came bundling up when walking the child to school – what with being an overprotective dad and all, not to mention that I’m wheels down and about to do a three point on that half-century mark, so the doc wants me to exercise. I sit on my ass all day, slinging words, so my fingers are getting all the workout.

But I digress…

Like I said, so it came to pass, and with it passing came the following conversation:

“Do I look sufficiently weird?” I asked.

E K looked me up and down. “Oh yeah…”

“O-SPRING!” I yelled. “Time To GO!”

(thumpita, thumpita, thumpita… came the child down the stairs.)

Around the corner the O-spring came, then screeched to halt, staring at me. Then she moaned, “Daaahhhh-ahhhhhhhhddddddd!”

“What?” I asked.

“You’re wearing THAT to walk me to school?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Daaahhhh-ahhhhhhhhddddddd!” she moaned again, rolling her eyes in the process.

“What? Do I embarrass you?”

“Well, yeah…” she replied.

“Good,” I told her, suddenly channeling Macaulay Culkin from the movie Uncle Buck, in a paraphrased sense, of course: “I’m a dad. It’s my job.”

And so off we went. I trailed along behind at a short distance… Until we got close to the school, of course. Then I closed the gap. I had to make sure all of her friends knew I was her dad…




More to come…